The semester is over. It's been terribly weird in a lot of ways, and there has been an unexpected turn of events. I guess people eventually surprise you (good or bad). This semester has left me with fewer regrets, fewer emotional attachments, more fond memories, and more hurt than one can imagine. But I liked it, at some level. It brought me towards people, and taught me how to feel despite cold numbness and amidst so much hostility and suffocating superficiality. At the end of the day, I guess I've learnt to be more patient, less impulsive and very, very tolerant. It has been good and non-controversial in so many ways, almost peaceful. At the risk of sounding sappy and saccharine, I shall say that maybe this could grow in on me, eventually. Over time.
I wish it could be easier to permeate through walls, though. Through thick, hard, cold stone walls that block you out and freeze you, much as you try to grope your away in the darkness and find a door, to let in the light. It's not like I wanted to. I felt I had to. I still feel, and I wish it could stop, because I know that I'm just scooping sand on my own head. It's pointless. How can compassion, kindness, and softness melt a stone? We're hardly in the world of Grimms Fairy Tales, and Hans Christian Anderson. If it was this easy, I'm sure we'd all be more peaceful and less in a state of war. This, being applicable to fundamentalists (the kind that indulge in moral policing), with all due respect to their regard for the requirement of religious demarcation, a.k.a quest for power.
I'm sure I finally sounded like a terrible imitation (mockery, even) of Wordsworth, the comparison not being intended to flatter myself, (far from it, in fact), with the excessive use of metaphors. I shall stop now.
If only these bloody exams can be evaded. And if only swearing was acceptable, and I could use the F word umpteen times, without sounding disrespectful, to vent out frustrations. If only scruples and principles were not shaped so much by social norms. If only.