The time has come. For me to let go of this place called "home" and head back home. To where I belong. University.
I've raved and ranted and rambled about how much I hate the place. I've complained about the food, the people, the teachers, the administration, everything...I haven't said anything nice about the place. And now, I've exactly one day left at home, and I realize how much I miss University.
I miss the horrible food. Yes, I miss the dry, inedible chappatis and the watery dal, the dead-mosquitos floating on the drinking water in the mess, the campus, the classes, the library even (where I've spent maximum time chatting, gossiping, and sleeping), my room, my bed (I love the bed, by the way. Plump mattress, downy pillows, a warm, soft quilt and the teddy bear), the messy table, and most of all, the girls. Yes, I miss the stupid girls. We fight. We've hurt each other. Said some nasty things in the past. Bitched, even. But I miss them. I know that they're there for me (even though they'd probably deny it). I miss the late-night gossips, the 3 am sermons I've been forced to give over runny coffee, I miss barging into people's rooms begging them for something to eat at 3 am. I miss cuddling up under the covers in the cold and watching movies with the girls. I miss climbling balconies, the innuendos, the "girl-talk" (which involves the subject of you-kn0w-what. I miss the mall-trips. The movies. The kebabs. The iced-teas. The heated debates we have. The sad, sad, sad jokes that we crack, and then laugh hysterically over. The classes (where I spend maximum time talking, watching movies, listening to music and goofing). I even miss doing laundry and the argument that surfaces everytime my roomie and I do our laundry on the same day, as to who gets the clothes-line in our balcony.
Face it. University has become home. I still want don't want to be there forever, as I am incredibly apprehensive that it might consume the teeny bit of sanity left in me, along with every ounce of common sense I've known to display (not much of it, trust me). That, I do not need. My complains still hold. About the University.
It's just that I miss it.
The last month at University after the October-break, following a certain disastrous event that occured in the end of October and severed my ties with a few people I thought were my friends, was pretty awful. I was subjected to causticity at its heights and was pretty much dazed at the way things were turning out, that I chose to bury myself in my room, and hardly stepped out. I guess it really does take a while to read people correctly, and I have never known to make good judgments in the past, so for me, a while is a lot longer than the usual "while" other people would take. Well, the last month at University involved less outings, no walks around the campus, less food, and more lounging around in the room dressed in horrible hostel-wear, pulling a long face and making a fuss to even pull on a pair of jeans and walk ten steps to the Uncle's shop to buy coffee. Because, venturing out would mean running into people. And even the mere thought of that was petrifying.
It really is true. Friendships don't involve any of that thing called 'sentiment or emotion'. I've possibly watched a tad too many movies that have completely screwed-up my perception about certain things. One doesn't need friends, today. One just needs a few like-minded individuals to hang out with, who possess the humanitarian qualities of saving your butt when you majorly screw up. That is what friendship is about today.
Though, deep down, I do hope that my observation is wrong. Well, I'd better return to my packing now.
